Warm Worm Arm

Waiting for Lunch

Today, at the business district Olive Garden, I was ushered to a different room than usual. Usually we are taken to a large, mostly unadorned, common room, where the din of other diners keeps me from listening in on my close table mates. Today however, we went to a room that was divided by pillars. I thought, "Well, this is a welcome change." I was wrong. What I didn't realize, is that they had ushered me to the other room because they were busy. Very busy. Someone had warned me that the Never Ending Pasta Bowl promotion made the restaurant much busier, but that it didn't kick in until the middle of the promotion. Well, we're close to the middle, and it's a kickin'.

Because it was so busy, I had to wait quite some time before getting service, and then much longer for our food. As is usual, Ariel arrived later than I to lunch, but even she arrived before our Zuppa Toscana and Salad, and she had to do some waiting of her own. But what a salad it was. 

I'm not one for eating healthy, obviously, but I do enjoy a good salad, when coated in enough salad gravy that is. I think most people call it salad dressing, but either Louie C.K. or Jim Gaffigan once called it salad gravy, and I liked it. It's a joke about food, so probably Gaffigan.

Our server was a nice enough guy. He did his best with what he had, but it was busy and we had to wait a lot. He was up on his DP game though. We rarely don't have to wait for refills, and he kept us filled on Dr.Pepper, if not quick food.

When our Mezzaluna Ravioli finally arrived, Ariel's with Five Cheese Marinara, mine with Traditional Meat Sauce and Meatballs, Ariel only had time for a few bites and had to leave. So I ate from both plates, feeling like the pasta king  I am. 

There is a barrel-chested server at the business district Olive Garden who looks like a medieval innkeeper. He was serving a table next to mine, and was telling the ladies there that the record for most bowls eaten was something like 18 bowls of fettuccine with 12 sausages. I now feel dainty. 

 Visit 21:

Monetary value: $37.72

Total: $657.16

Warm Worm Arm

The Never Ending Pasta Bowl seems to be making both Olive Gardens super busy. We didn't have a wait to sit down tonight, but we did have to wait for breadsticks, they were all out. We ordered our soups, I got the Chicken and Gnocchi soup, which, no matter how you take a picture of it, always just looks like baby vomit. Chunks and all. 

Ariel got the Zuppa Toscana. She deserves an award for being the only human person able to have goosebumps while eating warm soup. Not just any goosebumps either, goosebumps so pronounced they show up in heavily cropped photos. She was literally quaking as she ladled in her warm soup.

We finally received our breadsticks. They were the best breadsticks we've ever gotten at Olive Garden. Ariel almost had a meltdown. They had minimal salt, were slathered in butter, and were warm. Ariel pronounces the word warm as "wharm." I've made fun of it for the past 4 years or so, but tonight she launched a rebuttal. 

"How do you say it?" she asked.

"Warm," I answered, like a regular human being. 

"Ok say the name of the animal that lives in the dirt."

"Worm," again, like a regular human being.

"See?!" she exclaimed! "Warm worm, it doesn't make any sense!

"I disagree," I said. "They clearly don't sound the same."

She said, "Ok, say arm."

"Arm"

"Now say wharm," she said excitedly.

I laughed.

"It's right there in the spelling of the word!" she concluded. 

So in the end my wife made a pretty compelling argument to pronounce "warm'"wrong. But I'll stick with pronouncing it like a normal human.

Towards the end of our meal, the servers came over to a table close to ours and sang happy birthday. It was the most servers I've ever seen get together for a birthday singing at Olive Garden. It was one of Princess Jasmine's tables. I guess when a princess asks you to sing happy birthday to one of her tables, you don't decline.

That's six servers! Right after they finished singing, the grandma of the girl shouted "It's her 21st birthday, at midnight she had her first shot!" This girl was at Olive Garden with her grandparents on her 21st birthday. It was especially funny to us, because, while we ate at the bar one evening, I had mused at how funny it would be to go out drinking on your 21st birthday to Olive Garden. Like, instead of going to a club, or sports bar, a pub, or even a Chili's, going to Olive Garden to get hammered seemed like a funny idea to me. This girl wasn't drunk, in fact she was drinking pop, but the idea still seems a funny one to me. 

Her grandfather started picking his teeth before they left. At least, I hope he was picking his teeth. It's either that, or popping a zit on his uvula. His fingers were farther back in his mouth than I thought possible. 

Visit 22:

Weight Fluctuation today: +1.8 lbs

Total:  +5.6 lbs

Monetary value: $32.89

Total: $690.05